When A Depressed Friend Asks You For Help: Ask This Key Question Before Anything Else...
Asides from showing someone support for what they are going through... there is one other thing you must do: Ask your friend if they feel ready to grow. Are they really ready to step up?
The book that changed my whole perspective on how I see things:
Many of us have a friend or family member going through some kind of struggle in their life, and when it comes to depression, as important as it is to show support and empathy, there is one other thing that many of us forget to mention to our loved one(s). Next time you are in contact with somebody going through a depression, the question that I feel is of the greatest importance to ask is this: Are they really ready to fix and change what seems to be getting them down so much?
Why does this question have such significance when it comes to curing a depression? Because in order for anyone to change, grow, or overcome any kind of challenge, the key thing they must do is Take Action. If you are reading this and you feel stuck on how to help someone you know in such a fragile situation, the truth is... We, as external and outside influences, can only do so much before it is up to our friend to take it upon themselves to accept what is happening inside of them and to do something about it. Let's break it down even more...
"But, Arron, my friend tells me he/she does not have the energy or motivation to make a drastic change in their life?"... In other words, they are becoming content with being unhappy and negative all of the time:
Here is the first thing you must do if your friend has become "identified" or "used" to being unhappy for most of their days: When in their presence (as challenging as it can be sometimes), make as much effort as possible to surround the friend with overwhelming amounts of positivity and nature. And don't forget to really listen to them, when needed. The key thing to take away here, is to out-number the negative topics with the positive topics, think of it as a see-saw! If you put more on one side, the other must give way. If the friend gets angry at you for the countless positivity, simply laugh and brush it off... It may take some time before you and your friend begin to see a change, but baby steps are important and if we are going to turn a negative habit into a positive, effective habit, it will take time. It may take around two months before great change is noticed. Let's say your friend begins to adapt to this mindset of overwhelming positivity and begins to feel slightly better... After this, it is only a matter of time before they realise that they do not want to be unhappy and begin to "wake up". It is only when we first align or thoughts with gradual action to follow, that we can begin to feel ready for change and change will occur...
So, remember... New experiences along with overwhelming positivity WILL EVENTUALLY break that negative, looped cycle of comfortable unhappiness. I always try my best to surround myself with nature as it gives me a feeling of "one-ness" and balance. Somehow, we always find ways to appreciate nature. Whether it be mountains, trees, flowers, rivers... A phone or a virtual, addictive world cannot outnumber the aliveness and joy we experience when looking over at an incredible scenery.
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